Letters From Beyond
by The Winged Pyro That Drowned
Summary: In which Precursors and Humans somehow find out how to get some mail to each other – and some mysterious others invade as well… What on earth are "FanFiction Authors" and why is the Marshal getting their mail? The Precursors would like to know the same thing...
1. Chapter 1 - It Begins

**Letters From The Breach**

**CHAPTER ONE - It Begins**

-.-.-.-

**WARNINGS FOR SWEARING AND OTHER THINGS. NO LEMONS BUT NO CENSORING EITHER. **

**In which Precursors and Humans somehow find out how to get some mail to each other – and some mysterious others invade as well… What on earth are "FanFiction Authors"?**

**OK, so this fic is based partially off of DarkHorseBlueSky's "From Fanfiction Writers" which has been adopted by someone-who-I'm-very-sorry-for-forgetting-their-name. So, send characters mail! ALSO highly inspired by Fanmail, by pigeonattack from the HIVE fandom. Ask the characters questions! **

**The Marshall shall force them to answer… well, it's an AU where everybody lives and everyone can mysteriously answer mail. **

**Onwards! Ask away! The characters will reply to as many mails as possible! **

**~Pyro, their loving torturer**

**Uhh, DISCLAIMER: I dont own Pacific Rim. I own a COPY OF THE BLU-RAY, and my OCs, but other than that, I do not own Pacific Rim. ._.**

-.-.-.-

Marshal Stacker Pentecost was dumbfounded as he looked at the spread of letters on his desk. There were many of them, and some of them were written on… well, he had no clue what this stuff was. He would have to get Newton to look into it later, for it seemed… biological in nature.

Picking them up tenderly, in case they were acidic or something, he flipped through them, noting each name on the bio-envelopes. "The big green one? Must be talking about Cherno Alpha and its pilots. The…" Stacker almost couldn't believe what he was reading. "The grey dick with the boobs of death? Striker Eureka, obviously."

At the bottom of the pile was a little note, on _paper _this time. "From The Precursors (Yeah Those Guys From The Anteverse/Other Side Of The Breach)," Stacker read, dreading the implications. _They can get letters to us?_

"Marshal," Tendo greeted his superior, nodding. He gave Stacker one of his many cups of coffee before speaking. "I see you've found the notes. Before you ask I don't know how they got here either but I _do _know that this isn't going to cause any kind of trouble."

Stacker would love to be reassured by that, but Tendo never lied to him and he really didn't want to know how Tendo knew this was safe. "So how do we reply?" he asked instead.

Tendo shrugged. "Just leave the replies properly addressed and on the desk. I've found it sorts itself out from there."

The Marshal gave him a very serious look, but came to the conclusion that if some greater power was deciding to do this to them, it would be a much better idea to play along than risk something bad happening. If that power could send letters onto his desk, he didn't want to find out if they could do the same thing with a Kaiju.

"I better deliver these then," he sighed, striding out of his office.  
Tendo's eyes flashed neon blue for a moment, with an odd smile plastered on his face. It barely lasted a second, but it was all he needed. "Yep, you better…" he whispered.

The Kaidonovskys were more than a little weirded out by the letter they got.

-.-.-.-

Dear the Big Green One;

WHEN WILL YOU FUCKING DIE?!

Sincerely,

The Precursors.

-.-.-.-

Aleksis shrugged, said something to Sasha in Russian, and started writing when she nodded.

-.-.-.-

To the Precursors,

Never. You punch us, we punch you!

From the Russians, pilots of the Big Green One.

-.-.-.-

Dear Blue-With-Red-Stripe,

Didn't we already get rid of you?

Like seriously, well and truly get of you?

Sincerely,

The Precursors.

-.-.-.-

Raleigh managed to sneak his reply off to the Marshal's desk before Mako or Yancy could even see the letter, laughing evilly.

-.-.-.-

Dear Precursors,

WE'RE BACK, BITCHES!

You ain't _that _good. We've got 29 lives, suckas!

From Big Blue,

Your Doom-Bringer.

-.-.-.-

Tendo glared at the near mountain of reply letters that had been piled up on the Marshal's desk. It was going to take _tons_ of energy to get those through the return portal! He continued to silently fume, pacing around the desk whilst consuming high-energy breakfast pastries and adjusting his bow-tie.

He never noticed the last letter that had fallen onto the pile until it practically burst into flames in anger of being ignored. "This can NOT be good," Tendo muttered, opening the envelope with the blue trim anyways.

-.-.-.-

Dear Tendo,

I trust that our arrangements have been fulfilled nicely?

Sincerely,

The Winged Pyro That Drowned

-.-.-.-

Tendo's eyes once again had a flash of blue. "Yes," he growled. "Everything is going fine, you meddling little-" the envelope burst into flames in his hands, signalling him to _shut up_. Pentecost had been right with his assumption of "Don't piss off that power delivering this mail" idea.

He knew this mail thing wasn't going to be let up anytime soon, either.

-.-.-.-

**Now submit your mail! The Anteverse is also accepting (although unwillingly) fanmail!  
I'll try my best to answer things in cannon unless specified ;)**

**UPDATES: will be dependent on Author's letter creativity if nobody submits letters via Review**

**~Pyro**


	2. Chapter 2 - This Is 50-50 Effort, Y'know

Letters From Beyond Chapter Two

-.-.-.-

Dear Readers,

You want this to continue? You've gotta send them some mail ;) Here's a quick example stolen from an Anon from "From Fanfiction Writers" (see my fave stories page to go find it):

Dear Pitch,  
I dont like you... That is all Im saying on the matter besides, YOU WEAR A DRESS!  
From, XphiaDP

It's just that easy! Don't be afraid to put a hundred questions in a single review, and should you think of another right after reviewing, come back as an Anon XD

Sincerely,

The Winged Pyro Who Should Not Be Trusted With Creativity In Parody Fics Because Pacific Hell Happened Last Time They Got Free Reign

-.-.-.-

Tendo looked over this final letter quizzically. "Where the heck do I put _this_ one?!"


	3. Chapter 3 - PRECURSORS?

Fanmailing, Chapter Three

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

The Bishop was a simple Precursor. He didn't do much other than stare at this mini-breach that had somehow appeared on the side of his rock. This little platform was where he spent about 78 hours of his day, before going to Homereef for 22 hours for peace and quiet.

Suddenly, a piece of paper flew through the portaly thing, and immediately dissolved in the water. Bishop saw this happen maybe three times a day now. Always envelope, _then_ the Reefwork Paper appeared.

He quickly ran his claw over it, marvelling in its Tron-esque bioluminescence. Such pretty lines... and such odd strobe-lighting, too. Bishop had seen only one Kaiju do that, and even then it was because they were testing some new performance enhancing foods. The Bishop had tried that stuff - turned out it was just drugs.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

Dear Precursors,  
Learn names. And get pancakes.  
-Harm

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

Bishop's many eyes widened a tiny bit in surprise. Names? Pancakes? What?

He investigated, asking the Hivemind if it knew what these "Names" and "Pancakes" were. The response he got was intriguing. Names were things used to identify one from another when there was no Hivemind present! How quaint. The Bishop stuck one of his three tongues out in concentration... he shall call himself...

Ante-Tendoo.

Ante-Tendoo smiled to himself, proud with his new name. Much more regal and royal than a lowly "Bishop".

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

Dear You Ugly Bastards,

Boobs of Death? YOU FUCKING WELL GAVE MY DAD A HEART ATTACK!  
If I ever see you lot, I'm gonna-

Herc here - I hate you

Sincerely,

The Hansens (Pilots of Striker Eureka)

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

The Precursor formerly known as Bishop looked over the letter quizzically. It was actually pretty cute how stupid Ante-Tendoo looked. He quickly forwarded the letters to the Hivemind, awaiting response. Aww, look at him, he's like a lost puppy! Only lizard... and ugly... and big... and ugly... and cute...

-.-.-.-

**Do you like the new line-breaks? Or should I stick with the old ones?**

**~Pyro**


	4. Chapter 4 - Wait, Do I Know You?

Moar Letters, Chapter Four

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

**I'm using these now. :)  
Also, kudos to anyone who recognises the messenger for the Real World letters ;) **

**(HEADCANNON) Random little idea that's popped into my head for this: when Dude's delivering letters from people to the reviewers, we're all stuck in some fancy mansion. I'm more than likely going to get all your personalities wrong and everything, as they're gonna be derived from either my knowledge of you elsewhere, or a mix of your pen-name and profile pic. **

**~Pyro**

**And yes, his name actually is "Dude". The Pyro appearing in this is a copy of the Pyro in Pacific High, but without access to all the Cloaks. It's unfortunate but true :(  
Bleh, screw it. I'ma include all mah forum buddies in our Real World XD (been meaning to do a fic with them in it and now seems like the perfect opportunity) **

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Dude looked over the letters had suddenly popped out of his computer screen in confusion. What were they doing _here_? Some addressed to Pyro, one to a guy named Harm, and a buncha blue lettuce. Wait, no, those are more letters. Dude shrugged, and went about delivering them through the building.

Trudging up and down stairs, wishing for the elevator to be fixed obviously wasn't going to help him this time, so he pulled a skateboard out of his pocket and wheeled his way around the mansion-Shatterdome-apartment complex THING all these crazy people lived in. They didn't get along too well either...

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Pyro leapt up from her chair and pointed at the human across the table known as Harm. "YOU SAY THAT ONE MORE TIME AND I SWEAR TO GOD-"

Harm jumped to the side behind his buddy, SGF, who was much more capable of taking a hit in his Space Marine armour. "It's made of chocolate!" Harm giggled for a moment, before SGF made a slide to the side. About half a second later, Harm had an enraged woman's fist colliding with his face.

Louis, an old Spartan, chuckled at the fight going on. "Careful with him," he said, "We want him to survive this!"

Sapphire groaned, her Conn-Pod hitting the desk. "C'mon Pyro, can't you go five minutes without getting into a fight with someone?" she asked fruitlessly.

Harm was much inclined to agree, while Glitch was simply laughing his robotic ass off. As Legion's identical twin, he tried to wear a hoodie so they could be told apart whenever Shepard and the crew visited. "Don't hold her back!" he yelled at Louis, right before the fighting tumbled him out of his seat. "Hey!"

Reaper stood in the background, blue glowing eyes the only visible feature on his face, his shapeless hood and robes casting an aura of mystery about him. "Guys, now isn't the time," he said in a calm voice, unfolding his arms and stepping to the side as the tumbling duo bashed each other in Reaper's direction.

Dude burst into the meeting room with gusto, throwing open the doors like there was no tomorrow. And promptly froze at the scene he was greeted with. Two armoured fellows trying to pry a couple of non-armoured teens away from each other while the hooded robot was laughing about the whole thing with a human-sized Jaeger and the phantom man was facepalming.

After everyone finally noticed he was there and sat down quietly, he facepalmed and sighed. "Sometimes I really wonder why I took this job." But regardless, he handed out the letters and blue lettuce and the cookies.

Glitch ripped his open immediately, eager to read their contents.

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Dear Precursors,  
Could you please disconnect Miniju from the Hivemind? Its kind of pissing me off that you are causing her to bite my leg. If not, I will swim through the breach and beat your ugly mugs.  
-Glitchrr36

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Dear Glitch,  
Who? And why would we simply give up one of our beings? Are you mad?!  
Sincerely Aggravated,  
The Hivemind

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Glitch snorted, absent-mindedly reaching down to pet his beloved companion Miniju. The tiny Kaiju looked a bit like an Otachi/Slattern/Trespasser mixed-breed thing. Like, big thing, larger than a Great Dane, but still cool. Ish. Maybe. She bit Glitch as hard as possible the moment his hand got close enough, causing him to scream in pain and flail about madly.

"Glitch would you shut up!" Harm yelled, throwing a frying pan. His aim was terrible and bounced off SGF's armoured head with a large clang. He didn't notice though. SGF was too busy reading.

The pilot sighed, falling back in his chair. Wait... he'd sent a letter, hadn't he?

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Dear Precursors,  
Learn names. And get pancakes.  
-Harm

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Hello Harm!  
My new name is Ante-Tendoo now! :D  
And what are these... Pancakes? Are they Kaiju? Kaiju bits? People?  
They must be a new species for us to conquer! Yippee!  
~Ante-Tendoo

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Harm looked over his letter in disgust. "What. The. FUCK. Guys! The Precursors don't know what pancakes are!"

Pyro glanced up from her letter in irritation. "Yeah well maybe they're made of chocolate," she grumbled at him, rolling her eyes before going back to poring over her letters. Most of them looked like official business.

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Yo, Ambassador dude!  
Big things are happening. Be ready for the rain.  
~Pyro

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Hello, Pyro,  
I was not expecting a reply so soon.  
We are ready. We are waiting.  
AKA  
BRING IT, SUCKAS!  
Sincerely,  
Precursor Ambassador #32052

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Dude backed out of the room slowly, leaving a basket of chocolate bars and assorted sugary foodstuffs outside the door. It'd buy him some time if they decided to leave the room to soon, before he could put his plan into action.

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

**Did... did I just manage to give this thing a plot? Damn, I'm good. **

**Welp, mail chapters are gonna go like this. Shatterdome, Anteverse, Beyond. This was the Beyond chapter, and I hope you enjoyed it. I'll get round to adding everyone's mail to anyone as soon as possible in the next relevant chapter! :D**

**~Pyro **


	5. Chapter 5 - Gipsy - The Evil Chatterbot

You've got Mail, dammit! Chapter Five

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

**Shatterdome ahoy! What surprises will we find this time? What could a mysterious Tendo, Ante-Tendoo, and Dude be planning? LE GASP ITS DRAMA! D:**

**~Pyro Le Weird**

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Tendo, watchful, careful, exceedingly caffeinated, got to work. Ante-Tendoo was stupid enough to supply Dude and Tendo with everything needed, but was also stupid enough to need almost 24/7 supervision. The darn thing had revealed their plan to the Hivemind seventy two times already!

Despite his vigil, Tendo was interrupted once again by a pile of letters being dumped. And some blue lettuce. He sighed, grabbed a couple of bagels, and went about delivering them.

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Dear Jaegers,

Striker, you're awesome. Hint; you need to learn some people skills.  
Cherno, How does it feel having a nuclear rector for a head, and a brain (Conn-Pod) for a heart?  
Crimson, You're awesome, you're fast, and you deserve more screen time.  
Gipsy, you beat up a Kaiju with a freighter. Words can not describe how awesome you are, my dear.  
Coyote, your guns are huge! Not those guns, the ones on your back, I mean.

With appreciation and awe, Prodigal.

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Wait, WHAT?! Tendo practically choked on his bagel when he saw this one, addressed to the Jaegers. Yes, they had somehow livened up recently, yes, some of them were rather chatty, and yes, Striker was annoying as hell, but they got _mail_?! He didn't like this very much at all, but-

Oh. That was interesting...

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Dear Tendo,  
Grow a beard. The manliness will allow you to shift the mail with no effort in seconds.

-Argus Yomoflach (aka Slug gunner fan of wikia)

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Tendo rubbed his bare chin thoughtfully. Maybe he _could_ grow a beard... it would certainly make him much more manly and attractive to the ladies... yesssssss...

Well, the Jaegers had some very... differing replies to their mass-letter. Striker simply sulked and pouted in the corner when told he needed people skills. Cherno was left looking very confused; even if he didn't really care what brains and heads and nuclear reactors were. Gipsy ran around the hanger squealing "BOATSWORDS!" at the top of her lungs, and Crimson seemed to be the only one wondering what the heck "Screen Time" was. Coyote was busy showing off his guns and muscle-parts proudly.

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Hello Prodigal!

Gipsy here writing for all of us and CRIMSON WOULD YOU STOP THAT! Seriously I _don't need your help for a freaking audio-file!_ Ahem. OK, so Striker McDouchebaggins would like to say "I know I'm awesome!" and he's happy that this seems to have crossed dimensional barriers and oh my god if his ego got any bigger we would have all suffocated from it. His armpit servos smell like fish. Thank you _sooooo_ much for telling him he needs people skills. He can't simply get into a fight with you since this is only a letter blah blah blah so it actually got into his thick Conn-Pod that he should try be nice instead of a dick all the time. Ell-Oh-Ell!  
Cherno didn't say much, but he thinks its good that his brains are at his heart. Much harder for Kaiju to get to that way! Plus, while he's never tried it until today, he's got an affinity for headbutting now. NO! YOU AREN'T ALLOWED TO HIT ME! _THIS IS AN AUDIO FILE NOT A FREAKING MP4!_ Jeezuz, Cherno!  
Crimson is very thankful for the praise, and wishes you a merry whatever-the-closest-holiday-to-now is! He's also slightly confused as to your "Screen Time" comment. And he wont lay off about it! Tendo wont tell me either, though I suspect he knows more than he's letting on. I haven't asked Yancy either... or Raleigh, or Mako, or-  
_STRIKER- SHUT! UP! _I am NOT a chatterbox!  
And I have to say THANK YOU SO MUCH OH-EMM-GEE YOU ARE MY FAVOURITEST HUMAN EVER! Boatswording has to be one of the greatest things I have ever done. In fact, I think I'll teach the others how to Boatsword as well! Hmm... All we'd need is a few good freighters and a Kaiju!  
Coyote seems to appreciate the complements. A lot. Like, before he was just him, now he's HIM and flexing and showing off and... man, he's one smoking hot hunk of Jaeger...

Gipsy, now's not the time to- oh never mind. Crimson here; she's gone off to make out with Coyote. Total facepalm moment. So yeah, thanks for the letter!

Sincerely,

The Jaegers

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Tendo sighed as the Jaegers started fighting again. They did make efforts not to kill the tiny humans while they were at it, but they'd never said or done anything about preserving the Shatterdome. Striker barged into Gipsy, knocking over Crimson while Cherno started swinging punches.

"Time to get out of here!" The LOCCENT Technician yelled to the many staff still walking around. How the heck did they not notice this?! Urgh, he'd figure it out later. Next stop: K-Science.

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Dear Precursors-  
Can you send me a tiny Kaiju so I can keep it as a pet?  
-love, Newt.

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Dear Precursors,  
Newt and I have a bet. please send out the next Kaiju in exactly 17 hours and 22 seconds.  
Sincerely,  
Dr. Gottlieb.

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

First Shatterdome  
Hong Kong, China, Earth

The Precursors  
The Ante-Verse  
Unknown Alien Planet

Dear Precursors,

Give it up - it ain't gonna work! And I ain't nobody's dinner - especially a monster's!

Dr. Gottlieb here - Agreed.

Sincerely,  
Newton Geiszler, Ph.D  
Hermann Gottleib, Ph.D.

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Newt handed over the final letter before Hermann said something, causing the two to go flying back into arguments. Tendo sighed tiredly - he really needed to ask the Marshal if the two could be separated. They were a nightmare together... "Hey guys," he clicked his fingers a few times, trying to get their attention, "You've uhh, used a mighty lotta formats..." but it was no use.

As he walked out the door, highly annoyed, he got a giant surprise. "YANCY! WHAT THE FUCK, MAN!" Tendo screamed at the Jaeger pilot who'd just tackled him to the ground.

"Sorry, bro, I needed to make sure - did you or did you not let Raleigh have the letter?" Yancy asked, crawling off the messenger slowly.

Tendo was a little confused, but nodded. "Yeah, I gave him the letter. Why?"

"Little brother doesn't want to share anything with his co-pilots," Yancy grumbled. "Anyways, you know what to do with these," he said, giving Tendo a hand up. Two letters, one from him and one from Mako.

"I'll be sure to deliver them," Tendo said dryly, going on his way.

"I owe ya one, man!" Yancy called to him before running off again. Why was he runnin- oh.

"I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU YANCY!" Raleigh screamed, bouncing around the corner and sprinting after his brother. Tendo didn't even want to know what was going on between the three of them.

Just one last letter from the Marshal and the days letters were done and dusted. Ah, time for coffee, bagels, and relaxation...

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Dear Pyro,  
What have you done...  
Signed;

Marshal Stacker Pentecost

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

An annoyed cell-phone-like device came through the mini-breach, beeping its madness at Tendo. The man's eyes flashed in blue anger once again as he pressed the "Deny Call" button. Dude's plan could wait an hour. Or fifty.

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

**Tendo you sneaky soon-to-be-bearded man... what could you three be planning? SERIOUSLY, TELL ME!  
****I hate it when my characters start doing things without my knowledge.**

**Ahh well... the Anteverse is next up for receiving mail! Go on, send em something!**

**~Pyro**


	6. Chapter 6 - Ante-Butterfly!

Blue Lettuce Invasions, chapter five point Otachi

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Ante-Tendoo. That was his new name. But everyone kept calling him Shelly. HIS NAME WAS NOT SHELLY! Why must everyone call him Shelly. Ante-Tendoo was unhappy. Humans knew this as sadness. He knew because the Lump told him so.

**Beep bep. Beep bep.**

Eeeeeppp! The Lump was vibrating and moving and yelling at him again! Ante-Tendoo smashed a clawed fist-thing on it, hoping it would shut it up. The poor little stupid Precursor was terrified! He had such a hard and terrible and oohhhhh an Ante-Butterfly! So preeeetttyyyyyy...

But this next letter addressed to his Kaiju! So preeeettttyyyyyy...

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Dear Kaiju,

Knifehead, do you have trouble when you sneeze?  
Onibaba, do you know what your name means? Do you?! Hehehehe...  
Otachi, How does it feel to be the only female Kaiju that made the big screen?  
Leatherback, do you drink? Cause, your belly... Also, what the hell were you doing after disabling Striker Eureka? Having a few pints while admiring him?  
Scunner, do you have trouble walking through doors with those horns?  
Raiju, do you know what YOUR name means? Do you?! Hehehehehehe...  
Slattern, your name... I can't even...

With remorse and pity, Prodigal.

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Dreaded Prodigal,

Knifehead here - I actually sneeze Kaiju-Blue akin to Coyote Tango's mortars. BIG BADA BOOM, SUCKAS!  
Onibaba would like to say "Click-CLICK-CLikciCLICILkclick" because none of us can understand anything that fucking crab says. The one thing we DID figure out was he got killed chasing after some little blue girl (a Smurf?) while yelling "OMG BUT THOSE ARE SUCH CUTE SHOES **_TELL ME WHERE YOU GOT THEM OR__ ELSE!_**". It... was actually quite disturbing for the rest of us to find out _that _was how Onibaba threw their life away. And no, none of us actually know what the crab's name is. Heck, none of us even know why the fuck it's a CRAB!  
Otachi wants me to say it really sucked because since she was in the double event, Leathback raped her. She was very cranky that day.  
Leatherback here - I do actually drink. *BURRRRPPPP*  
Hey, Knifehead again. I think I know why Leathback thought he could rape Otachi now... wait, she got _PREGNANT?! AND GAVE BIRTH?!_ Shit, man, you're evil! Plus a deadbeat dad LOL!  
Scunner would like to know what doors are, and would also like to know why Big Blue thought it would be a good idea to headbutt him. Actually, I'd like to know as well. WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING HEADBUTTING A BULL, BIG BLUE!?  
Raiju and Slattern have no idea what their names mean. They are assuming that they are very epic and awesome names that have something to do with their battle prowess... despite the fact one of them deepthroated a SWORD and the other was HUGGLED TO DEATH!

What? It's true!

Never Sincerely Because Whatever I dont Actually Like Any Of You Please All Go Die Or Something,  
- Knifehead -  
(and the rest of those ugly buggers)

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Dear Precursors,  
Just fuck you. Go back to your slime holes.

-Argus Yomoflach (aka Slug gunner fan of wikia)

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Ante-Tendoo would have been happy to go home, but the Hivemind was sick of him taking days off. Sure, the only other places they had to conquer right now were Equestria (LOL and their Trespasser had already practically done the job on his own) and some place called A Long Time Ago In A Galaxy Far Far Away. The locals, known as Jedi-Flights or Nights, or Starflus or somethings were putting up a fight. Also unfortunately they seemed to have more Kaiju than the Precursors.  
Plus lizards. Lots of lizards. Ante-Tendoo _loved _lizards. They were his favourite non-Precursor species! Like that one over there (delicious, by the way), and that one, and the flashy blue one, and the flashy red one, and the pretty yellow-turkey-wild-grey one, and... oooh! Ante-Butterfly!

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

dear aliens

get out I got a shotgun and don't think that your kuiju or kujiu or whatever why you may ask I got a pet godzilla

-redneck 141

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

He looked at this one confuzzledly because it was a much cuter way of looking at it than confusedly. Confusedly suggests he was actually confused. Confuzzledly meant he was just looking at it like "Ooohhhh, Ante-Butterfly! Prrreeeeetttttyyyyy..." instead of "Hm. OK, that don't make no sense."

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Dear Precursors,  
Hello Ante-Tendoo! To answer your question, pancakes are a type of substance us humans consume to refuel our energy. We enjoy eating pancakes. They are... tasty.  
I am interested by your species. You are Precursors... Such a name must mean something special about your race. I am amazed in a way.  
-Harm

This letter is made of a material called "paper." Not chocolate. Pyro likes chocolate. Wait, why am I writing this? ...

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Ante-Tendoo remembered this one! He was the Chocoloholicalistical one! He-he, he was gonna try get the Hivemind to think that twenty-three times really fast! He jumped up and down, giggling like a lizard thing. It actually sounded more like "WORTWORTWORTWORTWORT!" more than anything else.

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Dear Harm,  
HELLO JELLO MASCARA! What is "Tasty"? All I know is Nom!  
I am interested by your species too! Are you really as pink and squishy as Junior tells me you are? I DO SO WISH TO HUGGLE ALL OF YOU. We are called Precursors because we didn't think any contact with other species would go so well if we named ourselves Bluooubulbies. I think one place we invaded kept calling us Tyranids - although that was our sister Hivemind from the Third Colony. They are doing much better than us :(  
I do not know what your "Paper" is either. I am reading your letter on Reef-Plate, since the white stuff that gets send through our portal is destroyed instantaneously in our environment. It is quite despicable the way it does that.  
Oh! And we call ourselves Precursors because it tells everyone that we are older than them despite our anti-wrinkle cream actually working!  
Chocolate... more Kaiju bits? Are you a Choloholocialtistacalkas? I do not know what they are either. Perhaps the Small Red One shall know.  
Sincerely,  
ANTE-TENDOO AND HIS NEW PET ANTE-BUTTERFLY

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Ante-Tendoo was in a great mood! WORTWORTWORT worthy for a few hours yet, YIPPEE! And then he saw the next letter and the Hivemind was scarred for eternity.

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Dear Precursors,  
So... if you lot are Hivemind with your Kaiju... and Otachi was pregnant... does that mean you ALL felt horny enough to have sex with each-other/yourselves?  
Signed,  
A concerned Scientist

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

NONONONONONO! NOOOOOOOOOO!

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Dear Precursors,  
When is my Puppy Knifehead being delivered? Hermann's betting never but I paid you guys in good turtle!  
A Very Concerned Scientist,  
Dr. Newton Geiszler

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

OK, this one Ante-Tendoo could handle. Yes, just take deep, calming, OMG BUTTERFLY! Isn't it _cuuuuutttteeeee_? Ante-Tendoo really wanted to pet the Ante-Butterfly, but that would require him to leap off his platform... and he couldn't swim. Even though he lived in an aquatic environment, the little Precursor was too afraid to go after it because he couldn't swim. He didn't want to risk it. A slow, agonisingly soft fall for hours towards the Precursor City-Reefs.

But he wrote up a reply anyways.

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Dear Newton Geiszler,

It shall be sent out to you in 17 hours and 22 seconds. ^_^

From,

Ante-Tendoo

AND THE ANTE-BUTTERFLY DON'T YOU DARE DENY MY PWETTY BUTTERFLY OF ITS MAIL STATUS!

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Dear Murdering Assholes,

Nice try! But I'm back, better than ever!

And I am looking forward to settling the score with my kid bro and new partner!

Sincerely,  
Yancy Becket, First Captain of Gipsy Danger

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Dear Dishonorable Murderers of My Family,

Prepare to die.

Sincerely,  
Mori, Mako; Engineer/Second Co-Pilot of Gipsy Danger

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Ante-Tendoo trembled. He did not like this Mori, Mako. She was the Mini-Blue One With The Red Foot... who knew what terrible creature she must have murdered in order to parade its now-missing red foot around, crying ancient tribal rituals to steal its soul and giver her its strength. She was EVIL... and... uhh... Ante-Butterfly...

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Dear Ante-Tendoo,  
Hey, Joe. Have you got any idea where Larry went?  
Sincerely, Greg.

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

NOOO! Why must the Lump continue to Beep Bep at him?! What did he ever do besides hit it repeatedly and try feed it to Leatherback the drinking rapist?! Go away little beastie thing! Ante-Tendoo did not steal your red claws and sing horrible screechy tribal rituals to steal your soul! GO AWAY!

WROTWROTWROT!

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

**For all who are confused, WORTWORTWORT is that annoying funny thing Elites say in Halo. That's what I imagine Ante-Tendoo's cute happy sounds to be. WROTWROTWROT is what he sounds like when he's crying, BECAUSE HE IS JUST SUCH A DAMN CUTE LITTLE PRECURSOR! I love him, because in my mind he's so childlike and curious and ooohhh... Ante-Butterfly! Such preeettttyyy colllooouuuuurrrrsssss...**

**~Pyro le ADHD distracted...**

**I shall bring all of you to your knees. Beware... MWAHAHAHAHAH!**

**~Ante-Butterfly**


	7. Chapter 7 - Implications? What Implica-

We Don't Need No Letters, chapter seven

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

**OK, yet another Beyond chapter! How wonderful! ^_^ So, I was thinking, maybe not everyone knows who's who in the Beyond chapters. Just to make sure, I drew up this handy chart! :D**

**Pyro: human teenage female mastermind in the Cloak. **

**Harm: human teenage male irritable weirdo in the Gundam Pilot's suit (I don't watch Gundam but apparently he loves it).**

**Louis: Louis Bancroft (a fellow author here), the veteran Spartan (Halo, not God of War). Guys, go read Love & Cherish! It may be in (M) but it's WORTH READING! (also contains only slight citrus, cute puppies, and no lemons. Lotta champagne though... and no, that isn't some form of innuendo.) **

**Reaper: the phantom-man with the glowy blue eyes. **

**Sapphire: the human-sized Jaeger woman (I've updated the first Beyond chapter - I suggest taking a re-read).**

**SGF: Slug Gunner Fan, a WH40K enthusiast, and therefore a Space Marine. :P**

**Tel Nok Shock: the new Dragon-Girl! ;)**

**Glitch: friend from Wikia and generally awesome pain in your enemies asses; also happens to be Legion-In-An-N7-Hoodie (because why the hell not?). Has the pet, Miniju. **

**Dude: on the Custom Pacific Rim Wiki, check the "Mecha-Chuck" page. (No, seriously, we actually just had a really stupid idea in the comments of the Ring of Fire universe page. Someone started off like "I just lost it as "Chuck Hansen: ****_EXCEEDINGLY DEAD_****"" and someone decided "They could always bring him back as Mecha-Chuck". It kinda spiralled out of control from there...)**

**Anybody Else Who I Have Forgotten: I'll get round to you when I update this chapter :P ... like a few hours after posting the damn thing...**

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Dude sighed. Neither of his accomplices were picking up on their cell-phones. Sure, Ante-Tendoo had a decent excuse, but Tendo? None. Zip, nada, uno-minus-uno-because-Dude-don't-know-Spanish. But, right on schedule, the Mini-Breach opened up and puked a whole lotta gunk on his desk.

All hail Dude, Lord of the Hammerspace!

Ah well, he thought, at least it didn't try shove an Otachi tongue on me this time. Better dry than licked! First stop; meeting room. He drove down the halls on his motorbike, the shiny black Harley Davidson. Oh, this couldn't be good... the sugarstuffs were gone, and there was nobody left in the meeting room.

"Hai!"

Or maybe there was one person left...

"I'm Tel Nok. What's your name?" the dragon-girl hanging from the roof asked, eyes giant and bright and frankly, rather scary.

Dude stared at her, jaw hanging. "Uhh, my name's Dude. So... uhh... what are you doing here?" he asked, watching as she noticed her tail hanging down by her face and started trying to lick it.

"Oh? You know, letters..." she smiled, revealing lots of sharp pointy threatening and very aggressive-looking serrated teeth. "I think I sent one to the Precursors last time," Tel Nok said, trying to reach into Dude's pocket.

Dude was unimpressed, pulling the reply letter out his other pocket and handing it to her. "This one."

"THANK YOU!" Tel squealed, leaping down and huggling the messenger fiercely. "THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!"

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Dear Kajiu/Hivemind/Whatever the hell you guys are

Why are you all jerks? I mean seriously did you have to kill off the Russians and the Wei Tengs? I LIKED them! Very much in fact.

Not Very Sincerely,  
TNS of the Pacific Rim Fandom

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Dear TNS,

We are not all jerks. Some of us are actually TURTLES. AND WE FART ROCKETS, AND HAVE OUR NAMES CHANGED TO GAMERA BECAUSE WE ARE GIANT SPACE TURTLES THAT FART ROCKETS-

Leatherback! Would you quit with the tequila! Seriously, man. This is why Otachi hates you! Oh, yeah, and possibly that whole rape thing but anyways THIS IS A REPLY TO A SERIOUS LETTER!  
Sorry about that. Actually, no, I'm not sorry about that. Whatevs.  
Yes, we had to kill them. I mean, look at the Big Green One! He stood there smugly beating the shit out of us for SIXTY NINE YEARS! (about six years in your time but still, HE WAS THERE BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF US FOR SIX. FUCKING. YEARS.)  
And Big Red was creeping us out. Plus he was ugly. Like, he had three arms! WHO THE FUCK HAS AN ODD NUMBER OF ARMS?! Even Daddy Slattern can't figure it out!

Hope You All Shut Up And Die One Of These Days,

- Knifehead -

(And the other Precursors)

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Dude watched the dragon-girl completely obsess over the letter, even trying to eat the corner of it to see if it was tasty. It wasn't. He finally got bored, and once he realised Tel Nok wasn't going to be writing up a reply anytime soon he continued to go find the others. Why couldn't they all just stay in one place?!

Hang on... d'oh! The meeting room brawl happened last time... and he'd forgotten about it already! Bad messenger, bad! Dude was busy scolding himself while he got into the elevator, but when the ding happened, he had an epiphany. He had mail! OMG SOMEONE SENT HIM A LETTER OMG OMG OMG HE WAS SO EXCITED.

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Dear Tendo, Ante-Tendoo and Dude:

Why don't you just dismantle and rebuild the Jaegers into a do-everything machine for your devious plan? On a side note, tell the Precursors that I don't like them will ya?

-Argus Yomoflach (aka Slug gunner fan of wikia)

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Dear Dude  
Who are you?  
~Glitch

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

OK, so one of his letters was addressed to all three of the Messengers, but he'd unfortunately be unable to tell the Precursors that Argus didn't like them. Ante-Tendoo refused to read his letters properly, and wouldn't respond to the cell-phone he'd left. And Tendo was the one with access to the Jaegers, which could cause issues if he tried to dismantle any of them...

And why did Glitch need to send him mail? They were in the same freaking building, dammit! He thought it over immensely. "Who am I?" he muttered to himself. "I guess I'm just... Dude. Yeah... I am Dude. LORD OF THE HAMMERSPACE!" he yelled, posing royally as the elevator doors opened.

Sapphire was standing outside with Glitch. Both of them simply stared. Awkward silence ensues.

...

"Well, guess that answers my question..." Glitch said, trying to break the thick impenetrable ice that had settled over the three of them. Dude smiled, although it was slightly forced.

"Yes... I am Dude, Lord of the Hammerspace."

Sapphire looked really confused, even though it's actually really confusing to try and find out what a Jaeger's emotions were since they don't have much facial articulation. "Uhh... what's Hammerspace?"

Dude gestured to his Harley, and then put it in his pocket. "_That _is Hammerspace."

The group then parted ways, Sapphire with a few replies and Glitch with more Reef-Stuffs to write on. Dude went on his route, stopping by Harm's room to drop of Ante-Tendoo's response; the teenager huffed loudly, and then stalked off down the halls. No idea where he was going, but he could guess it was going to end in a fight.

About ten minutes of searching, Dude finally found Louis. "Hey Louis! You've got a couple of letters!" he yelled at the Spartan, running up to the armoured man. "Oh, hey Sluggie," he greeted the Space Marine with a nod before fishing out more envelopes and blue lettuce. "For you guys," he said.

Louis took a breath to say something, but was interrupted by a loud thump on the wall. The three of them looked at the wall in confusion, then at each other, then back at the wall. A muffled yelling could be heard, rising in intensity with every thump.

Then, after one amazingly loud scream and smash, the door in front of the men burst open. Pyro emerged, face flushed and her hair in a mess, slamming the door as hard as possible. She seemed a little out of breath, panting lightly, covered in a thin sheen of sweat. She moaned once before starting to pace the width of the hall, eyes closed, muttering, "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god... why did I do _that?_ And with _Harm_ of all people! Oh my god, oh my god..." she seemed very distressed. Certainly distressed enough not to notice two huge armoured soldiers and a mail-man on a Harley.

None of the guys knew what was going on, but they could sense the implications. Louis silently sighed and slapped a twenty into SGF's waiting hand. "Told ya," he grunted, smug.

Pyro whipped around suddenly, her red eyes blazing, cheeks going even redder from embarrassment. She looked ready to yell at them, but every time she opened her mouth she couldn't think of what to say. "Uh.. huh... oh... hm..." she could barely put a single word together.

Louis put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry. We wont tell anyone you slept-"

"WHAT?!"

SGF looked rather amused. "So what was _that, _then?" he asked, jerking his head toward the wall. SGF was well-known for his crude implications and allegations, among other things.

Pyro plopped down on the floor, massaging her temples. "Oooohhh..." she moaned tiredly. "Guys, I did NOT sleep with him..." she groaned. "And why the fuck are you lot betting on my love life anyway?" Pyro asked, annoyed, as she snatched up the twenty SGF was holding.

None of them had an answer to that.

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Reaper was glad for some peace and quiet. He'd really needed it recently, what with all this drama over the letters and stuff going on. "Its such a pity..." he whispered to the butterfly resting on his outstretched finger, "They have to fight all the time..."

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Dude had barely made it away alive - Pyro had once again proven to be a forced to be reckoned with when angry. The back wheel on his Harley was still alight and on fire...

"Hey Dude!"

"BWAH!" Dude _manly screamed _as Tel Nok swung down, once again, from a hiding spot in the roof. "Don't scare me like that!"

Tel looked extra-sad now, pulling out her puppy-lizard-eyes. Dude didn't know how she'd gotten down to the ground so fast without him noticing. But he was falling for the cuteness... the way her wings were tilted, the eyes, so huge and round and overwhelmingly cute, half filled with unshed tears, the way she held her hands together... "Pweeeeeeeesssseeee," she pleaded, fluttering her eyelashes.

Dude caved in. He had to. Nobody in the history of Fanfiction-kind could stand up to Tel Nok's Bambi-eyes. "OK, OK!" he cried, voice hoarse with emotion. "I'll do it!" even though he had no idea what the heck it was that needed doing...

"Thank you!" Tel leapt up and hugged the poor man, tumbling him off his bike. "I just needed this delivered to Yancy! And this one to Ante-Tendoo! And this one to Gerald! And this one to..."

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Dear Yancy,  
Why did you die in the first ten minutes of the movie? It was rude to leave poor Raleigh all alone like that!

Sincerely,  
TNS of the Pacific Rim Fandom

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Dear Ante-Tendoo,

You are exceedingly cute for a Precursor. Surprisingly cute. Half of you are ugly crab-men, but you're a lizardic person/thing/whatever, like me! I really wanna visit youuuuuuu!

Sincerely,

TNS of the Pacific Rim Fandom

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

**Once again my characters have surprised me. Honestly I didn't actually plan the way this would happen XD  
It was more like "OK, here's the situation, how would they react?" and boom. Story. Also, Reaper has indeed been known for playing around with butterflys and actually letting us think what we will about him (sometimes for days at a time) before correcting us. **

**For example; he told us he couldn't go on chat because he had a job interview.  
Three hours and a day later, half the Pacific Rim Wiki regulars were convinced he was now a successful male stripper with pink thongs. I can't remember how or why- wait a second, yes I do remember! ... yeah it was my fault. Anyways, sorry ladies, but he is not a successful male stripper. Nor does he have pink thongs. **

**~Pyro That Weird Author That Has The Most Random Authors Notes Ever**

**Larry, I thought I told you not to fraternise with the enemy! **

**~Ante-Butterfly**


	8. Chapter 8 - Mistletoe Mishaps?

***I FORGOT TO COPYPASTE MY NORMAL LINEBREAK I FORGOT TO COPYPASTE MY NORMAL LINEBREAK***

**Hey guys, only one letter this time. **

-.-.-.-

Dear Epic Faithful Readers,

I had a giant Christmas chapter update planned for most of the PR fics, but unfortunately a holiday will be getting in the way. So, in about three or four weeks, I'll be back and have kicked this Writer's Block into the dust! Expect a Christmas at the Pacific High Shatterdome, with a few un-announced guests... a rogue in the Ring of Fire, an anime reference in Pacific Hell, and if I finally get some time, The Guardian Jaeger will get an update! (And maybe a chapter of my own in there)

So, main message, HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE! NO MATTER WHAT YOU CELEBRATE!

Merry Christmas!

With love,

The Winged Pyro That Drowned

-.-.-.-

Pyro looked over this one last letter sadly. It was a bit of a pity their plans had gone awry, but while fortune favours the brave, patience is rewarded something something... something... damn she needed to get a sayings book sometime.

As she walked down the decorated halls, ready to deliver her final letter for the year, she bumped into someone. A very big someone. "Hey Louis," Pyro said with a smile as she caught his arm and spun him around. "Notice anything?" she asked, pointing upwards.

Louis, still silent and stoic as ever, looked up... and saw the mistletoe. "Uhh..." he grunted, barely a moment before Pyro snatched his helmet off and planted a perfect kiss on his lips.

"Merry Christmas, big boy," she whispered with a wink, leaving the stunned man to watch her as she skipped down the halls with an extra spring in her step. He brushed a finger over his lips, marvelling at the tingling he still felt.

"Damn." he muttered in a disbelieving trance, putting his helmet back on and walking away dazed. "She's good."

Louis couldn't help but agree with the small smile forming under his armour.

-.-.-.-

_**A VERY PACIFIC RIM CHRISTMAS**_

Jaeger Claus, Jaeger Claus,

Boatswords all the way,

Oh what fun it is to ride, Gipsy Danger in a sleigh,

HEY!

Jaeger Claus, Jaeger Cause,

Boatswords all the way,

Oh what fun it is to punch, Leatherback in the face,

HEY!

Dashing through the snow,  
In a one Drift open Raleigh  
O'er the K-Scientists we go  
Laughing all the way  
EMP Backs and claw tails ring  
Making headlights bright  
What fun it is to laugh and sing  
And kill some Kaiju t'night

Jaeger Claus, Jaeger Claus,

Boatswords all the way,

Oh what fun it is to ride, Gipsy Danger in a sleigh,

HEY!

Jaeger Claus, Jaeger Cause,

Boatswords all the way,

Oh what fun it is to punch, Leatherback in the face,

HEY!

A day or two ago,  
I thought I'd take a Nuke,  
Straight into the Breach,  
Ol' Pentecost by my side,  
The Jaeger was lean and arrogant,  
Slattern hated his face,  
We got into a Drift issue, a Double Event to fight,  
And then we got blown up!

Jaeger Claus, Jaeger Claus,

Boatswords all the way,

Oh what fun it is to ride, Gipsy Danger in a sleigh,

HEY!

Jaeger Claus, Jaeger Cause,

Boatswords all the way,

Oh what fun it is to punch, Leatherback in the face,

HEY!

The Russians and the Reds,  
Fighting in the harbour,  
Valiant and defendant they were,  
Oh what a twist it was to die!  
Long away, very next day,  
Cherno Isle was formed,  
Coconuts and Yancy, Comrade Squid adorned,  
The Kaiju punched away!

Jaeger Claus, Jaeger Claus,

Boatswords all the way,

Oh what fun it is to ride, Gipsy Danger in a sleigh,

HEY!

Jaeger Claus, Jaeger Cause,

Boatswords all the way,

Oh what fun it is to punch, Leatherback in the face,

HEY!

Oh headbutt of love,  
Mako's hot, Raleigh's horny,  
Sequel Hook, I know,  
Oh what fun it is to hug,  
A dead Raleigh in-pod!  
Fa-la-la Fa-la-la,  
Merry Christmas to you all,  
May Jaeger Claus, big red and white,  
Bring you gifts a plenty,  
You've all been good, cancelling the apocalypse,  
Ol' Pentecost would get iffy!  
Fa-la-la Fa-la-la

CHERNO PUNCH ALL KAIJU!

HEY!

-.-.-.-

_**MERRY CHRISTMAS AND IF ANYBODY CAN GET THEIR SINGING/CAROLS GROUP TO SING THAT SONG I WILL DEDICATE IT TO YOU FOREVER**_


End file.
